We’re in final party countdown: the ALL-MEWS MEGA-PARTY, the first gathering of all the writers and editors in Montclair in two years, is THIS SATURDAY NIGHT.  I know you’re all sponging off your leather hot pants and practicing your opening lines, but still some party Qs are being FAed.

For instance:

Oh, right!  I nearly forgot again?  Where and when is the party?

Saturday night, January 30, from 6:30 till 9:30 at the Diva Lounge at 373 Bloomfield Avenue, near Willow Street, in Montclair.

How much does it cost, and what do I get for my bucks?

The price is just $39 a head, at the door, and for that you get unlimited soft drinks, two other drinks of your choice, hors d’oeuvres, dessert, coffee, and more fun than you’ve had since 2008.  And oh, it’s tax-deductible!

I’m worried that I’m not famous or important enough and no one is going to want to talk to me and I’ll be too shy to introduce myself.  Should I still go?

Absolutely!  Rule number 3 of the MEWS bylaws is: Be nice.  Rule number 4 is: Be welcoming.  We’re there to come together, not to add to all the rejection and snobbery in the world.

But wait, I’m worried that I’m too famous and important to be there and I’ll be swamped by all the people looking to suck up to me.  How will I handle that?

That sounds like a really tough problem.  I suggest you simply bask in the adulation.

Um, can I bring my spouse, significant other, or BFF?

Of course!  You just have to pay for him or her.

Even if he or she is a lawyer or a teacher or not a fabulous and fascinating writer or editor?

Of course!

Do I have to?

No, solo MEWSies are also welcome.

What do I wear?

You can wear jeans.  You can wear that fabulous frock you bought for a wedding last May and haven’t had a chance to wear again.  Or you can follow my lead and break out the leather hot pants, whip optional.

What about this scholarship deal?  Am I going to be forced to contribute to that?

Of course not.  I mean, not at gunpoint.  But it would be nice to give something – I’m so excited that we’ve already collected $300 and we’re going to be able to give a great award to a Montclair High kid headed for a career in writing or editing.

What if I want to donate to the scholarship but I don’t want to go to the party?

Send a check made out to Montclair High School with MEWS Scholarship written in the memo line, to me at Pam Satran, 64 Myrtle Ave, Montclair, NJ 07042.

Okay, okay, I’ll be there.  So what do I do again?

Just show up at the Diva on Saturday night, January 30, between 6:30 and 9:30, and pay your $39 at the door.  Can’t wait!  So excited!  See you then.